Raising Kids (Before You Move Abroad, Part 2)
My kids are not just Finnish, not just Brazilian. And that's a superpower.
“I’m moving abroad to chase a better future for myself and my family.”
Pretty cliche. Yet truthful. Common.
Coming from Brazil to Canada, and eventually Finland, that really meant two things:
Safety. The peace of mind of knowing your family will be safe when they leave the house in the morning.
Opportunity. The privilege of knowing that if you work hard, it’s possible to move up in life.
I don’t mean to paint a bad picture of Brazil. It’s a beautiful place full of amazing people. You can visit and you’ll be fine. But if you live there your whole life? There’s a 100% chance you’ll have a couple bad experiences.
When I was 10, I watched my mother being held at gunpoint by what looked like a barely 8-year-old boy at the traffic lights.
So when people ask me, “Why would you leave Brazil to come somewhere so cold and dark?”
That’s why.
Because I love knowing that I’m likely the sketchiest person in my neighborhood. 😂 And I’m not sketchy at all.
My oldest is only 8. He’s been walking to school alone for the past year. All the kids in the neighborhood do.
That’s priceless.
The opportunity thing
Growing up in Brazil, I knew I had only a few viable career choices if I wanted to do okay financially. Doctor. Dentist. Engineer. You get the idea.
But my thing was music. The creative world.
The thing I was almost jealous of when I landed in Finland was seeing that people could, if they really wanted it, pursue a career doing what they love.
I met three firefighters who started a business on the side and became entrepreneurs. Amazing.
So why am I writing about this?
Because like with many things in life, there are challenges.
As much as I know the life I’m able to give my children today is the one I worked so hard for, part of me can’t help but wish they were growing up having the same experiences as me.
Is that human nature?
I want them to ride their bicycle at ‘Fonte do Sapo' in Santos. I want them to love and play football. I want them to speak Portuguese without an accent.
I want them to appreciate and value how privileged they are by experiencing struggle. By seeing how hard life can be for others just based on where they were born.
So they have perspective.
But most importantly, so they have the fire to dedicate themselves to a craft. To find purpose in life. And therefore be truly happy.
Perspective
My oldest’s first time in Brazil, he saw a homeless guy sleeping on the street. He was afraid. “Why is that uncle sleeping there?”
I remember being there with my wife when she saw someone going after an old air conditioner in the middle of the garbage by a street post. The person knew there’s leftover water in old air conditioners. He was thirsty.
My friends all take a step back when someone comes near on a motorcycle. That can be a cue that they’re about to get robbed.
These aren’t good things to be aware of. But I think it’s important to have that awareness. To understand that the world is made up of many different places and that each one of them has positives and negatives.
I truly believe that distance from home builds perspective; the further you go. And that is a life skill that will allow them to go further in life, to be able to relate to others, to read the room and, most importantly, to have an objective view of home by looking at it with ‘fresh eyes’.
Their worlds are only going to get bigger as they grow up; without experiences that build perspective, they’ll be blind to their own reality.
Lucas Pinheiro, the Brazilian-Norwegian gold olympic medalist
Lucas Pinheiro Braathen recently became huge in Brazil. He’s a 25-year-old alpine skier who grew up in Norway with a Brazilian mother and Norwegian father. He skied for Norway his whole career until he abruptly retired in 2023. Then he came back a year later to represent Brazil instead.
He just won Brazil’s first Winter Olympics gold medal. The whole country is behind him.
In interviews, he talked about growing up feeling like an outsider everywhere. Not Norwegian enough in Norway. A gringo in Brazil. Third culture kids, the ones who live across two worlds, know that feeling too well.
Lucas talks about how he eventually understood that what makes you different is what makes you strong. And that’s a great message.
My kids are not just Finnish. They’re not just Brazilian. They’re both. And that’s a superpower.
The richness of two cultures
Having two cultures is an incredible richness.
We sing happy birthday in two languages. First the Finnish version, which is calm and contained. Then the Brazilian version, which is loud and chaotic.
They speak three languages at home. Portuguese with me. English between my wife and I. Finnish everywhere else.
It’s colorful. It makes our lives so much more interesting. It raises eyebrows at restaurant tables all over the world as conversations shift across three languages. The experience of teaching these kids everything across these two cultures has been really fun and exciting.
And for them? It’s just normal.
✌️
What about you? Raising kids abroad? How are you navigating the balance? Let me know in the comments.